Comments on: Cyber Relationships

By: feelingflirty

feelingflirty — Wed, 25 Jul 2007 01:41:05 +0000

A long distance relationship isn’t easy but it’s not impossible. I did it for 2 1/2 years and we’ve now been together for 13. You have to accept that you aren’t together and cherish the moments that you are – through email, chat, video or phone. Flat screen can lead to misunderstandings so don’t be tough on each other.

By: parisa

parisa — Tue, 17 Apr 2007 05:01:05 +0000

Leo, I didn’t know you can write like this…wow! You actually have a sound and a critical analysis of the social issue/phenomena…I like!

By: Justin

Justin — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 23:12:50 +0000

Cyber relationships exist in full force and they are redefining ‘long distance relationships’.
I think there is by and large a degree of dishonesty within a cyber relationship. You’re not meeting this person in reality and seeing how they interact with others. How they act around you.
Their mannerisms – morals – attitude – etc.
It has become a very strange phenomenon spurred on by a couple of things:

1) people’s insecurities and fear of rejection

2) people not having the time to ‘go out’ and look for love so they seek it online (convenience)

3) insecurity -whether its about their looks, their lack of money, self esteem – whatever – cyber relationships give some people the opportunity to find ‘love’ without leaving the house.

Overall I think they are bad for humanity. I think the internet is a wonderful tool, but its being used in the wrong way. People are using it as a substitute for real life. I think the internet should be shut down one day a week where nobody could go online at all and actually had to either go outside or find something else to do.

We’re all guilty – me not being any type of exception.
I sometimes think back to just 10 years ago when I didn’t have a computer or the internet at all.
What did I do with my time??
I think I was more creative – I spent more time with friends and I went out more.
We are becoming dangerously dependent on machines to entertain us and make us ‘feel’.

my 2 cents.

By: indrinita

indrinita — Mon, 02 Apr 2007 19:16:21 +0000

I think this whole phenomenon of internet dating has really increased opportunities for cheating. I was also hurt by such a situation – and my ex honestly sees that he’s done nothing wrong, since he not only had no intention of meeting anyone in person, but also because he swears he never met anyone in person, so I’m just being paranoid for nothing. I don’t get it at all. It’s like all common sense and decency about faithfulness in relationships goes out the window when it comes to internet “chatting” or sending out explicit emails to someone on a dating or sex site. If you’re in a committed relationship, you shouldn’t even have these kinds of profiles or interactions, it’s beyond appropriate.

I think it’s all because the chance of getting caught is so much lower compared with if you’re actually going out and meeting someone. What people who do this don’t realize is that they are emotionally betraying the person they are supposedly committed to, but I’ve come to the conclusion that some people will never acknowledge that, or see how their actions have hurt someone’s trust.

By: Leo

Leo — Sat, 17 Mar 2007 06:01:10 +0000

Thanks for your inputs Beki, it’s appreciated, it really is. But I think what was mostly being debated here was if it is appropriate for a person in a committed relationship to continue to indulge someone who has made their amorous intentions clear.

To quote an email from a wise little bird, “Telling someone you have a boyfriend doesn’t necessarily mean a lot these days and doesn’t put you into the “friends only zone”. Men don’t necessarily respect it when I tell them I have a boyfriend…telling someone you have a boyfriend doesn’t stop them from trying to get a piece of ass. I’m always amazed that these idiots still send messages on these websites trying to make small talk, flirting when it is obvious you are attached.”

There’s also a quote my black brothers like to say, “Even a Dawg don’t dig for bones in another Dawg’s back yard.” Cue rap music . . .

Maybe it’s different from a man’s perspective and a woman’s perspective, is there a double standard?

By: missbeki

missbeki — Sat, 17 Mar 2007 02:44:44 +0000

well..im coming into this a little bit late…but i hope people are still dropping by and having a read. i have read every word leo had to say about his thoughts on cyber-cheating…and yes, it really does suck. it isnt right..and people who are in relationships should not be excused from it. but wait a minute…lets dig a little deeper. i think there is more to this than meets the eye. what the hell is ‘cheating’ nowadays? a dude is walking a long the street with his girl, a HOT chick walks by and the dude takes a peek–is that cheating? HARDLY!! (but i know some girls would freak out. seriously girls, the man is yours, he is going home with you. if he wants to look at another girl, dont fret, you go and take a look @ that hot guy across the street. this is all harmless. no one is going home with the other person, settle down!) well…what about, you are walking along..a guy stops you and says “i just wanted to tell you that i think you are absolutely beautiful.” you stammer a quick thank you (well, that is the polite thing to do)….and the guy introduces himself… you do the same. he smiles and he goes his merry way. the boyfriend sees this–he can either (A) FREAK OUT! chase the guy and beat him down and claim the girl as his property as any normal caveman would do..OR (B) walk up to his girl, put his arm around her and be proud that this is your girlfriend. she’s hot, you know it…let people appreciate beauty.
the last 2 scenarious, you could hardly call it cheating….its day to day stuff. i know that it doesnt really relate to the cyber topic…but just wait!! i’ll get to my point.
it really boils down to trust. you are with someone, you love them (at least you keep saying you do)…would you REALLY think that just because she (OR HE) takes a peek at another person….says hi to the stranger that tells em they think they’re beautiful….that they are going run off with this random person and start sexual escapades behind your back?? now take this into the cyber setting….you are searching through your friends myspace list and you fall upon a random person…you send a quick note to say hi. they say hi back…you have a mutual friend, this person must be cool cuz he/she is friends with your friend, yaddi yaddi yadda…..uh oh… could this mean he/she is trying to CHEAT!?? *GASP!!* im sorry, this is truly pathetic. people who have no trust for their significant other shouldnt even be with the person. and why would you go into great lengths to find out who she is talking to…or what she is saying…..it you have any reason to doubt the relationship here, instead of writing it out for the whole world to see, maybe sitting down with the girl or guy, and just asking for their side of story will shed the light you are looking for. has it ever occured to anyone that MAYBE, JUST MAYBE, she/he is really chatting with someone as strictly friends? they are having a laugh and a good time and there are no sexual advances? people joke around sexually all the time nowadays too…cmon, admit it…youve slapped your friends ass and you have a bf/gf….and the kiss on the friends cheek? please dont tell me that is wrong either!!
where am i getting at? i dont even know anymore. i personally do not like people who are controlling.. people who go into a relationship with no trust and constantly badger the other person down because they display their affection with other people more openly than you would like. i myself am a touchy feeling emotional lovey person…if i like ya, u get a hug….if you mean anything to me, u get a kiss….it doesnt mean i wanna sleep with you!
*phew!* calm down…hehheh…what im trying to get at is, cyber cheating is wrong. but before you decide and accuse this horrible act upon someone, GET YOUR SHIT STRAIGHT!!! there are always two sides to story…if this person is worth it, you would listen to it.
i have met great people through friends of friends of friend lists and just randomly. they have opinions and views of the world that i appreciate and love to listen. we talk about life and we tend to start to like each other. now tell me…should i slap my wrist for trying to look for attention that isnt from my man?? (hmm, they might have commented on my looks…and i might have commented back on their looks…uhoh….am i in the hot seat now??)
OH! and one final thought….i think some people have it backwards….i think the person who is so concerned with their significant other “reaching out and possibly on the sexual prowl” (gag!) is the one is INSECURE!! if you were so confident with the relationship, what the hell are you so worried about?? hmmm….maybe you arent so confident after all? maybe the real honest to god truth is, YOU ARE INSECURE and to make YOURSELF feel better, you blame the other person for being who they are when you met them. oooh!! truth hurts.
(and if anyone cares…im using examples from real life experiences) =) g’day peeps!

By: La Leah

La Leah — Fri, 16 Mar 2007 07:16:11 +0000

Actually, if anything, my boyfriend will have a good laugh over it. He still thinks the whole phenomenon of people putting their thoughts out for the world is weird…he’s ALMOST been pulled into the myspace trend!

By: Leo

Leo — Fri, 16 Mar 2007 05:34:21 +0000

Yeah, I didn’t expect it either. I wrote this article based on a topic I was truly fascinated about, and I wanted to get more info and opinions from real people. Although it had relevance to my personal situation I did not intend to air my dirty laundry for all to see, nor was it an attempt at a low-blow attack at anyone, least of all my girlfriend. If anyone reads my past posts regularly it is obvious I adore her.
I had thought I kept the article fairly neutral (hard to hide where I stand on the issue but you know what I mean) while posing some challenging questions on a fairly new and subjective topic. This was a completely foreign experience for me to go through. My apologies if I failed to communicate properly and I’m sorry you all had to see the ugliness.
I still think this is an interesting topic and encourage other peoples opinions, particularly those with first hand experience.

By: Leo

Leo — Fri, 16 Mar 2007 05:17:37 +0000

Sorry you got dragged into this, hope your boyfriend is not offended.

By: Leo

Leo — Fri, 16 Mar 2007 05:09:22 +0000

There have been several women leaving their opinions.